Forever in Blue Jeans, Babe

The Bad News fell to ‘5 Dollar Haircut’ by a score of 13 to 1 in the bottom of the 6^th inning.

With a girl that couldn’t catch in left field and a guy wearing tapered blue jeans at first base the Bad News had high hopes early on. When asked what he thought The Bad News' chances were, Coach Nash stated “Yeah looks like we have a good shot tonight; they don’t look very strong in the field and have a guy wearing blue jeans at first.” By the bottom of the fifth, with '5 Dollar Haircut' leading by 8 runs, Coach Nash realized their tactic stating “How did I miss this, these jerks are deploying Blue Jean diplomacy.”

(Blue Jean diplomacy is a strategic humiliation tactic whereby a team has one of its members wear stupid, ridiculous looking blue jeans; this in turn gives the opposing team a false sense of assurance in victory, because hey ‘look at the other team, they have a guy with stupid blue jeans on.’ After a few innings, however, the opponent realizes that they are facing a legitimate team, but it is too late for a come back, leaving the opponent humiliated, because they are nonetheless, being beaten by a team that has a player wearing stupid, ridiculous looking blue jeans).

With a score of 13 – 0 going into the bottom of the 6th, the ump politely advised the Bad News that three runs were needed in order to advance to the 7th. One run was recorded from a pair of doubles by Nash and Jason Bergen, but the rally didn’t stay afloat, thus ending the game, and crushing the Bad News and Bad News Nation's dream of the ever elusive Grand Championship.

Next Game: The Bad News jump back into the regular season next Monday, 7/28, 7:15pm at DeWitt Clinton against team #31.

Bad News Avenges Loss; Wins Division Crown

After losing to Team Tuttle in mid-May, the Bad News was able to make the necessary adjustments in the playoffs, blanking the team that knocked them out of the bracket last year, winning by a score of 6-0 at the East River Drive fields.

Through four innings, the Bad News operated with the slimmest of margins, thanks to an RBI single from Frank Stingone. But the fifth inning was when the News were able to break the game open: Andrew Vaupel, in his only post-season at-bat, hit a frozen rope to left centerfield. The ball took a mad, crazy hop over the fielder's shoulder and Vaupel ran around the bases like someone was chasing him. After the game, he admitted, "It should have been scored a double and an error." Debatable, but in the Bad News' book, there was no question about putting another three runs up on the board.

Pat O'Leary added his own two-run homer to put the game out of reach, and he, along with Damian "El Capitán" Nash each have four hits and a home run in two post-season games thus far. Also not to be overlooked was the pitching of David "You Can't Hit This and You Know It" Dacosta, who recorded his second shutout in a row.

Last year, the Bad News won the regular-season meeting with Team Tuttle, only to lose to them in the second round of the post season. It's poetic justice (or Chantharaj Prophesy) that after losing to Team Tuttle in this year's regular season, the Bad News was able to complete the symmetry, and triumph in this postseason's second round.

The good times didn't end as the victors trekked through the projects to Royale for some fine burgers and even finer Pork Slaps (that's a brand of beer, what else would it be?). Not sure where the losers trekked. Probably some loser bar that didn't have Pork Slaps.



Next game: The Bad News hopes to continue its magical run through the postseason on Monday at 6 p.m., facing another divisional winner, TBD, at the Coleman Oval.

Playoffs: Bad News 6 - Team Tuttle 0

Playoff Game 2 Box Score
7/16/2008

TEAM    1  2  3  4  5  6  7   FINAL
SM      0  1  0  0  5  0  X   6
TT      0  0  0  0  0  0  X   0

PLAYER           AB  R  H  RBI  BB   AVG*
J Marino OF       2  0  0   0   0   .600
  D Nash OF       2  1  1   0   0   .667
A Korney 3B       3  1  2   0   0   .285
D DaCosta P       2  0  0   0   0   .400
  A Vaupel 2B     1  1  1   3   0  1.000 
J Murphy C        3  0  1   0   0   .333 
J Bergen SS       3  1  2   0   0   .667
N Chantharaj OF   1  0  0   0   0   .000
  V Ajdinoska OF  2  0  0   0   0   .000
F Stingone OF     3  0  1   1   0   .500
K Laughlin OF     3  1  1   0   0   .167
P O'Leary 1B      3  1  3   2   0   .667
  J Bernstein 2B  3  0  0   0   0   .000

HR - P O'Leary (1); A Vaupel (1)
2B - K Laughlin (1)
3B - J Bergen (1)

* Playoff stats separate from regular season

Bad News Chips Away at Innovation

Despite numerous ducks left on the pond, the Bad News were victorious in their first round playoff game against Innovation, by the score of 4-0, providing another proof point to support the old adage that, “Defense gets you through the playoffs.”

Defensively, the Bad News defense allowed no runs over the course of the full seven-inning contest. Han Lui, a homeless man and a regular at Coleman Oval softball games, said that, “[The Bad News] were straight up tight in the field. O’Leary had a hell of a day at short, and Marino made some nice catches out in left.” And Julie Murphy turned in one of her best defensive outings of the year, with Lui adding, “The Murphster was in the zone. She caught two foul tips for outs. The best catcher the league has ever seen, and this game proved it.”

On the offensive end, the Bad News bats were strong, but struggled to bring runs across the plate, leaving 11 men in scoring position over the course of the game. Said Matt Rinaldi, a local skateboarder and Bad News fan for all three years of the team’s existence, “Yeah, their bats were on, they just couldn’t bring it home. They’ll need to be clutch if they want to make it through the next round.” O’Leary and Marino went a mammouth 6-for-6 at the plate, with Rinaldi commenting, “Flica flica flava.” When asked about Frank Stingone’s Ted Williams-like run for .800, Rinaldi concluded that, undoubtedly, “Frank-the-Tank is the mothaflippin.”

Next game (Updated!): As an eerie sense of déjà vu continues to settle over the 2008 playoffs, the Bad News will face No. 1 seed Team Tuttle (the 5-3 winner over the New York Daily News) in the Division Finals on Wednesday, at 7:15 p.m. at East River Drive Field No. 7.

The Bad News hope to shake off it’s annual second-round slump, and bring home a division trophy. With the way their defense is keeping runs -- and David DaCosta’s era -- to a minimum, it may not be much longer until Jim Malkin has to start constructing a trophy case.

Playoffs: Innovation 0 - Bad News 4

Playoff Game 1 Box Score
7/7/2008

TEAM    1  2  3  4  5  6  7   FINAL
I       0  0  0  0  0  0  0   0
SM      1  1  1  1  0  0  X   4

PLAYER           AB  R  H  RBI  BB   AVG*
D Nash OF         4  1  3   2   0   .750
A Korney 3B       4  0  0   0   1   .000
P O'Leary SS      3  1  3   0   0  1.000
J Murphy C        3  0  1   0   0   .333 
F Crisafulli 1B   3  0  2   1   0   .667
N Chantharaj OF   3  0  0   0   0   .000
F Stingone OF     3  0  2   0   0   .667
K Laughlin OF     3  0  0   0   0   .000
D DaCosta P       3  2  2   0   0   .667
J Marino OF       3  0  3   1   0  1.000

HR - D Nash (1)
2B - J Marino (1); P O'Leary (1)

* Playoff stats separate from regular season

Cloudy Days for Silver Lining; Opting for the 'Post'

In the ho-hum early game of a late-June doubleheader, the Bad News dispensed with Silver Lining by the score of 11-2. Not that it was needed, but the News may have been given an inadvertent assist from the umpire, who called the game after five innings. The ump's explanation to the whining Lining was a combination of time being out and creative math, as it appeared he had the Bad News ahead by 10 runs, thus bringing the Mercy Rule into effect.

Danny D’Amico had a strong game, going 2-for-3, with two runs scored and driving in four -- including a bases-clearing single that put the game out of reach in the late innings. Jay Bergen, Franc Crisafulli and Frank Stingone all also drove in a pair, and in a return from Accounting Conferences Unknown, Pat O’Leary pitched solid games in both contests.

In other news, I've been turning to the New York Post this past week for all my coverage of A-Rod's failing marriage, after the hated New York Daily News triumphed in the late game for a second year in a row over the Bad News -- this time, by the score of 6-2. The Bad News was knocked on its heels in the first, giving up a pair of runs, and were never able to get back in its offensive groove.

Bergen and D’Amico again had multiple hits in the second game, and Stingone continued rolling along on his customary mid-summer batting streak, going 2-for-2 with a walk, and scoring both of the Bad News’ runs.

Running his team with the charm of Robert Mugabe and the even-handedness of Kim Jong-il, small measures of justice were meted out to the Daily News’ manager/pitcher/tyrant in an attempted 4th-inning take-out at the plate by Alicia Korney, and again, via a late-game pegging in the back, courtesy of Bergen’s cannon.

On a happier note, merry-making was made late into the night at the post-game Jeremy’s sendoff for second basewoman Chrissy Korney, who has returned north in search of saner pastures following two years of molding young minds in the Bronx. Korney ended her Bad News career with an RBI single in the seventh, and made a couple of key plays along the way to keep the Bad News in the second game.



Next game (Updated!): Tuesday, June 30 at Central Park. It was a forfeit by Silver Lining, though with the aid of two Dominicans and a couple of Bad News defectors, they played one heck of a scrimmage. Next up is the single-elimination playoffs.

Late June Doubleheader

Game 7 Box Score
6/25/2008

TEAM    1  2  3  4  5  6  7   FINAL
DN      2  0  2  0  2  0  0   6
SM      0  0  0  1  1  0  0   2

PLAYER           AB  R  H  RBI  BB   AVG
D D'Amico 1B      2  0  2   0   0   .786
  J Bernstein OF  2  0  0   1   0   .385
C Korney 2B       4  0  1   1   0   .409
P O'Leary P       2  0  1   0   0   .500
  D Nash OF       2  0  0   0   0   .706
A Korney 3B       3  0  1   0   0   .692
F Crisafulli OF   2  0  1   0   0   .737
J Murphy C        3  0  0   0   0   .412 
J Bergen SS       2  0  2   0   0   .667
N Chantharaj OF   1  0  0   0   0   .214
  K Laughlin      2  0  1   0   0   .500
F Stingone OF     3  2  2   0   1   .818
J Marino OF       3  0  1   0   0   .500

2B - J Bergen (1); F Stingone (2)
Sac Fly - J Bernstein (1)

Game 6 Box Score (5 innings)
6/25/2008

TEAM    1  2  3  4  5  6  7   FINAL
SM      0  7  0  1  3  X  X   11
SL      1  0  1  0  0  X  X   2

PLAYER           AB  R  H  RBI  BB   AVG
D Nash OF         2  1  1   0   0   .800
  F Stingone OF   2  1  2   2   0   .778
C Korney 2B       3  0  1   0   0   .444
J Marino OF       3  0  2   0   0   .538
A Korney 3B       3  2  2   1   0   .739
D D'Amico 1B      3  2  2   4   0   .750
J Murphy C        3  1  1   0   1   .500 
P O'Leary P       3  1  2   0   0   .500
N Chantharaj OF   3  1  0   0   1   .231
J Bergen SS       3  1  2   2   0   .632
F Crisafulli OF   2  1  1   2   0   .765

2B - D D'Amico (1); A Korney (1)